How to Stop Caring What People Think About You
The biggest hurdle between you and building your personal brand is likely that you care too much about what people think of you. And really, how could you not? It's the most human feeling in the world. We want to belong. We want to feel like an accepted member of society. To share our truth out loud compromises the feeling of security and acceptance we all long for. It prompts us to wonder, "What will they think?" (as if what, "they think" is the yardstick at which to measure our own value and self-worth.)
Caring too much about what people think about you is fear that causes deep turmoil, inner-restlessness, and sickening anxiety that can prevent us from taking action and building our personal brands. I know, because I've lived it. I used to let the opinions of others consume me until I actually couldn't take it anymore. The constant chatter in my head was making me sick and preventing me from making any real progress in my personal development. At some point, you begin to consider, "There has to be another way; there has to be a way out of this.” And guess what? There is. There is a way out.
Here are a few tricks I've learned that have helped me build my personal brand and share content with virtually no fear.
Cultivate Self-Awareness
The first step toward freedom from caring too much about what people will think is to become hyper-aware of the chatter in your mind. Do you hear it? Can you start to notice when a negative pattern of self-talk begins? The mind feels the need to narrate everything that happens to us. It does this because it wants to protect us from harm...it wants to survive. When you realize that you are not your thoughts, you are simply the person experiencing your thoughts, you can start to separate yourself from the negative self-talk and become more aware of how it's affecting you. This negative "self-talk" is likely what is preventing you from taking action or making decisions that align with your values.
As you cultivate more self-awareness, I encourage you to relax and breathe as much as possible. Here's the catch: you must do your best to observe the chatter in your mind non-judgmentally and compassionately. Repeat after me: this chatter is not YOU, but you are the person who is experiencing this chatter.
Awareness Leads to Presence
If we stay with this process of cultivating self-awareness, we experience the most exquisite feeling: this feeling is presence. We are filled with presence when we are present to what is occurring right in front of us. If you are experiencing negative feelings and are anxious about what others might be thinking about you, accept that these feelings are there. However, don't let the feeling turn into thinking. Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you. All of your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk begin to dissolve as soon as you draw your attention to them. Why? The identification you have with them is broken. However, you can only "break up" with your limiting beliefs when you are present in the moment.
Use this opportunity to observe the resistance you might feel to being present in your life. Observe the attachment you may have to the "same old" story you've been telling yourself that isn't actually grounded in reality and could be holding you back. This is your pain. Observe the compulsion to talk or think about your pain. The resistance or discomfort you may have when you observe your pain (rather than incessantly think or talk about this pain) will cease if you consciously practice remaining present.
Not Acting on Your Emotions
Remember, you always have a choice. You are in control, not your mind. As soon as you become aware of the emotions you are feeling (perhaps, emotions like envy, jealousy, or resentment) you can decide how you want to react to them. Sometimes it feels more complicated than it is, but you are strong enough to make a choice, and you are strong enough not to act on your emotions in a way that is hurtful to you (even when they feel overwhelming at times). Don't let other people prevent you from speaking up and sharing the truth of your experiences out loud. When this happens, you lose. The people who could benefit from hearing your story lose, too.
I challenge you to use these strategies and apply them to your life whenever you find yourself comparing yourself to others or caring just a little too much about what others might think of you. Remember, it doesn't have to be this way. There is a way out of the turmoil you might be experiencing in your mind. The answer is presence, and it is available to you whenever you are ready to experience it.
