The Benefit of Being Uncomfortable: What I Learned by Giving Up Alcohol

Last summer, six weeks before my first race, I decided to give up alcohol.

“I just want to see how long I can go without it,” I told my friends. But in my heart, I knew I was letting it go for good (or at least for a good while).

Removing alcohol from my life has been easier than I thought it would be. I don’t think about it except when I get invited to social events. That’s when panic starts to set in.

Exhibit A:

Last week, my friend Jason asked me to go to a holiday party with him. My immediate response was, “Ehh, I’d rather not.” And frankly, I resented him for asking me. We had plans to see a movie, I thought. Why is he changing our plans? As if his invitation was a personal vendetta against me. I wanted to scream.

“Your call,” he said.

I thought about saying no, but there was a small tug inside of me telling me to go.

“Alright, let’s go.” I replied via text. “As long as there’s pasta.”

I begrudgingly got up from the couch, curled my hair, got dressed, and poured myself an alcohol-free spirit. One hour later, I was greeting Jason at my door with a big smile on my face. Okay, we’re doing this, I thought. I can do this.

As soon as we got to the restaurant, people recognized me from TikTok immediately, (which was very flattering and helpful in easing some of the anxiety I was feeling.) Nevertheless, TikTok or not, it was still there. The awkwardness. The self-consciousness. The uncomfortableness. On the outside, I’m sure I presented totally normal. On the inside, I felt hyper-sensitive to how I appeared to others. Without alcohol, I felt everything.

A few days later, I was talking about the holiday party with my assistant, determined to uncover why it’s so difficult for me to attend social events as a newly sober person.

“What is it?” I asked. “Why is it so hard?”

I put my head back on the pillow, closed my eyes, and mulled over the question before I finally said, “Oh my gosh, I know what it is.”

“What?” she asked.

“It’s work.” I said. “Social gatherings have become more work for me. I have to be present and give myself more fully to people. I can't rely on alcohol to carry me through anymore. I can’t check out. It’s all me. No hiding.”

It finally clicked.

I’ve been reluctant to attend social gatherings because I’ve been avoiding feeling uncomfortable, because who likes to feel uncomfortable? And really, what’s the benefit of feeling this, anyway? Why is it good?

I think to some degree, the reason I felt compelled to go to the holiday party is because I knew it would help me grow.

There’s an article in Forbes that says something like, “If you feel uncomfortable, then you’re ultimately doing something right… You have to be selective about how, when, and why you’re embracing the discomfort of a given situation and how it can benefit you. Ultimately, you have to find the courage, awareness, and understanding that allows you to see problems and hurdles for what they really are: opportunities to grow and learn.”

The holiday party showed me the benefit of being uncomfortable. It had me wondering… What am I avoiding for fear of being uncomfortable? Where do I avoid ‘doing the work’? And where can I afford to push the boundaries in what I’m capable of withstanding?

I have a hunch that the uncomfortable moments are leading me to the transformation I am working towards. Perhaps, are even the reason I gave up alcohol to begin with.

Maybe for you, building your personal brand is something that feels uncomfortable… Maybe it’s been on your list for a long time, but you’re finally ready to start building in 2022.