"Let's Go to Canada"
On Thursday morning I woke up with an inclination to do something out of the ordinary.
I looked at Crystal and said, "Let's go to Canada."
"Are you serious?" she asked.
"Yeah I'm dead serious. Let's go to Montreal right now. We'll pack up the car, take the dogs and go."
"You're not being serious," she said with a puzzled look.
"Yes, I am. I am being dead serious."
"Okay, let's play what are the odds," she bargained.
"One through ten. If we say the same number at the same time then I'll go to Canada with you."
"Okay deal," I said.
I knew the number I was going to say immediately but I held my tongue.
"One..."
"Two...."
"Three...."
"SEVEN," we said in unison.
"WE'RE GOING TO CANADA," I squealed.
She rolled her eyes, "Okay, we're going to Canada."
Five hours later we were crossing the Canadian border with two passports, two puppies, and two suitcases in the back of my Jeep.
It's now Saturday morning and I'm writing to you from a Café in downtown Montreal. I feel lucky to have a career that affords me the opportunity to be spontaneous. Although, I would be lying if I told you it's all been carefree and easy.
For one, traveling to a big city with two puppies is something out of a nightmare (you live and you learn 😂). Crystal and I have been doing our best to stay open and communicative but Laurence and Leeza have tested our patience and our friendship. Needless to say, we dropped them off at doggy day care this morning and that seemed to fix the issue, haha.
I'm also still reconciling with my decision to stay sober this year. It helps to have non-alcoholic options like Ritual. But last night we went to a bar and I noticed it was SO hard for me to loosen up. I felt uncomfortable. Still! After 8 months without a drink I struggle to socialize and stay open without feeling insecure. It's not the alcohol I miss, it's the confidence to be anyone I want to be in those moments—without fear of rejection.
I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. I know it's hard. And I think it's enough to be conscious of this and to be kind to myself anyway.
That's what's happening in my corner of the world. (OH and if you've been following my dating content—Part Four is UP). I'm sharing live updates on Instagram Stories. Follow our trip over there 🙂
Love and light,
AV
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