Sometimes the Best Thing to Do is Nothing

My friend Tay came to visit me in Boston last weekend.

We spent our time working at cafes, exploring the city, and making fancy mocktails with Ritual Zero Proof, of course. Whenever we talk, I always walk away from our conversations with so many ‘ah-ha’ moments and big realizations.

A big one from this trip was the concept of, “doing nothing.”

I told Tay that when I experience the slightest bit of discomfort, my natural response is to try to make myself feel better. For instance, maybe I’ll order another cup of coffee, or buy a new pair of jeans, or reach for a bite of chocolate. These things aren’t bad by any means. In fact, they almost work.

The problem is, you can never get enough of something that almost works.

→ “We often seek relief from pain and discomfort through distraction or pleasure. This can help rebalance a beleaguered nervous system. The danger is when the choice to seek relief becomes a chronic reflection of anything uncomfortable. Over time, we can become incapable of tolerating even the smallest amount of pain without immediately doing something to change it. But when pain is met with genuine care and presence, something amazing can happen — healing. With patient, steady attention, emotional pain eases. Consider how it feels to be received with empathy and presence in a moment of distress.”  –Oren Jay Sofer

In many cases, we decided the correct answer is, ‘do nothing.’ Let things be. Feel uncomfortable for 10 minutes and let the feeling pass, as all feelings do.

Now, whenever I feel uncomfortable I ask, “Can you be okay with doing nothing?”

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