How to Know What You Really, Really Want

Jun 2

I once worked with a client named Steve, who was at a crossroads in his career.

At our first session, he told me, “I’ve been at the same company for years now, and I’m ready for something different. I just don’t know what that is yet.”

He wanted clarity.

So, we began.

The beginning of my sessions with Steve always started the same.

Steve would come to me with a new idea for what he wanted to do and how he wanted to build his brand.

I’d listen carefully, ask him questions, and by the end of our time together, it seemed like we had come to an agreement.

Then, he’d come back to me the following week, with a totally new idea for what he could do, instead.

Sometimes, these ideas would be so far away from what we had initially planned out together, that I finally had to ask him, "Steve, what is it you’re afraid of?"

I had a hunch that he wanted to leave his current role. That it was stifling his creativity and holding him back from doing what he really wanted, which was to go out on his own and coach men in their careers.

He wanted to create content about the things he was interested in, tell his real stories, and share what he had experienced in life so others could benefit from these lessons as well.

But he was scared. He had a lot to lose. He had bills to pay, and a family to take care of. His daughters were in their junior year of college. He couldn't put his family in jeopardy in order to fulfill his own desires and interests.

Wouldn’t that be selfish?

But deep down, there was more.

He was afraid his idea wouldn’t work, that if he pursued his true passion, he might fail publicly, be misunderstood, and regret this decision for the rest of his life.

This fear is not unique to Steve.

The older we get, the more we have to lose. Change becomes more daunting and challenging.

The thing is, Steve knew what he wanted all along. His fear was just blinding him from believing it was possible.

He wasn’t looking for clarity, he was looking for permission. That it was okay. And that, yes, he could have what he actually wanted, and be successful in pursuing it.

“I think you know what to do, Steve," I told him, "And I think it’s time we got started.”

And in the end, that's exactly what we did.

Personal Branding Tip

Just like Steve, you know what you want deep down. You might not know all the details, but if you sit with yourself long enough, ask the tough questions, and wait patiently for the answers, they will come.

Confusion is not what's preventing you from acting. It's fear.

Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of judgment. Recognizing this fear is the first step towards overcoming it and moving towards your true calling.

Personal Question

What are you afraid will happen if you make this significant change in your life? What is the cost of not making it?

Reflect on these questions, and like Steve, you might find the clarity you've been seeking.

I'm here if you need me.

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