“What will they think if I post this?”
Welcome back to the Personal Branding Blog. Last week, I talked about What Happens After You Go Viral and How to Build a Cult Following. In this issue, we'll discuss the power of self-approval and how to get over the fear of what people will think of you. Plus, why you already have what you're looking for 👀
As always, if you’re interested in following my book publishing journey, join me on Substack.
I once stayed at a hostel in Portland, Maine called The Pink Elephant. During my solo trip, I decided to relax by the fire pit one evening after having dinner at a nearby bistro. As I sat down, I noticed a man and a woman engaged in conversation, warming their hands by the fire pit. The man, later introduced as Matt, spoke loudly and gestured animatedly as he talked. Although he seemed awkward and intense, I found his quirks endearing and was drawn to his charismatic personality.
During our conversation, I felt compelled to ask him what he was like in High School. He answered that people made fun of him a lot. He said he got bullied for being different, that people teased him for being weird and “talking too loud.”
One day, the bullying got so bad, he said, that he locked himself away in his room and didn’t come out for days. He was in so much pain, he finally prayed to God, “God how can I make this pain go away? What can I do to stop this suffering?”
In that moment, he made a decision that he would no longer care what people thought of him. He said to me, “I simply stopped caring. I spoke my mind, I did what I wanted to do, and I didn’t give a f*ck what anyone thought anymore.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“The most amazing thing happened,” he said, “People started to like me. I started making friends. Someone asked me to prom. And my life got significantly better.”
I was stunned by the simplicity of it.
Could it be that simple? Could one just **decide*they weren’t going to care what people thought of them anymore?*
Perhaps it’s easier when you’re in high school, I thought, when you have less to lose. As we reach adulthood, we have jobs to maintain, reputations to establish, and clients to attract. It’s no longer as straightforward as just “not caring” anymore. There’s a lot at stake.
We frequently discuss this in PBA. The biggest fear my students have is what people will think of them. They worry that speaking their minds will offend someone or that people will judge them based on their content. The truth is, I explain, people will judge us regardless.
There’s no point in debating whether or not it will happen. It will happen. So instead of speculating about what others think, we can ask ourselves what we think.
For example, if you’re hesitating to post something on LinkedIn or Instagram Stories out of fear that it may offend someone, pause, and consider how you feel about the content you’d like to post. Do you like it? Are you proud of it? Do you think it's offensive? Why or why not?
As we start to ask ourselves these critical questions, we become more comfortable with listening to and trusting our own opinions.
Consider, also, the reason why you are posting on social media. There might be a surface-level reason that you tell others. For example, maybe you want to grow your business or publish a book, and you need a following in order to do so. But then there is also a deeper reason within you. It could be the desire to be known, accepted, or seen as wise, strong, or competent. It may even be fear-driven, aiming to conceal or hide your inner insecurities. These reasons are nothing to be ashamed of; we all seek something.
But consider that what you really might be looking for is your own approval and acceptance.
When we give ourselves more self-approval and acceptance, we become less dependent on others to give us what we're craving. This creates space for us to express ourselves authentically and create content that aligns with our values.
How can you practice self-approval? It happens every time you cheer yourself on, encourage yourself to be creative and try new things, and care about the words you say even when it feels like no one else does. You have the power to give yourself what you are looking for right now.
Personal Branding Tip
Build the muscle of trusting your own opinion and seeking your own approval. When you post content that you actually like, other people sene that and respond to it positively. You already have what you are looking for.
Personal Question
Here are some critical questions to start asking yourself before you post:
Would I be posting this video if I hadn’t seen someone else post it first?
Am I accepting other peoples thoughts and opinions of me as truth?
How would I show up online if I knew that people would always love and accept me no matter what?
When you're ready, here are two ways I can help you build your Personal Brand:
Personal Brand Accelerator: Join the waitlist for our next round in January, 2024 to learn how to build your brand, tell your story, and post with confidence online. Join the Waitlist.
Full Service Personal Brand Development: Best for executives or established business owners. Whether you want to break into a new field, start sharing your experiences, or grow your existing business, having a strong Personal Brand will give you the capacity to attain the professional heights you aspire to reach. Apply to Work Together.
See you next week!
Anna Vatuone
