Why Nobody Understands You and How to Fix It
Do you ever feel misunderstood? Like your words fail to convey what you intend them to? Does pitching yourself to an audience never go as planned? Maybe, it feels like you're falling short of your expectations.
If so, you're not alone.
Take heart in knowing that clear communication is not about saying the perfect thing. Instead, it’s about discovering an authentic story. Usually, it's the story hiding beneath the excess wording and mixed signals we unintentionally send.
How do we craft a compelling story that people understand and feel moved by? How do we convey a compelling reason for why we do what we do?
First of all, it’s possible.
Second of all, keep reading, and I’ll show you how.
The first time I pitched myself “formally” was at a technology summit in San Francisco.
I will never forget walking through a tall wooden corridor, past the check-in booth, and into a crowd of men in black suits. They stood with cocktails in their hands, chatting and exchanging pleasantries as though it were for sport.
As a co-founder of a technology startup in its early stages, I was ready for this, I thought.
I had stayed up late the night before memorizing my pitch, rehearsing it in front of the mirror until I sounded halfway confident enough to present the real thing in person. After all, that's what everyone had told me to do. Now, standing here, I questioned whether the preparation had truly prepared me for this moment.
I took a big gulp.
There was only one way to find out.
I spotted two VCs chatting in the corner of the room. One of them I knew, the other I didn’t.
As I moved towards them, my heart raced.
“This is Anna,” said the man I knew. When it was my turn to speak, my mind went utterly blank. Instead of delivering my carefully rehearsed pitch, my voice shook as I stumbled over my words. I could feel my palms beginning to sweat, and quickly tucked them into the pockets of my trousers, pinching the side of my leg just to feel something.
I was spiraling.
What was my main point!? What was I trying to say!?
As the day went on, it got worse.
With each interaction, my story seemed to change, and the confusion on peoples’ faces fed my own unease.
I left the summit feeling like I had failed.
Why was this so hard? Why couldn't I just explain things with more confidence? I honestly didn’t know.
Over the course of the next few months, I questioned my role at the company. I learned that if you can’t clearly articulate a compelling argument for why your work truly matters to you, the story behind your interest—then getting people on board will always be difficult. You have to sell yourself first, before you can persuade anyone else.
The more questions I asked myself, the more I realized I wasn't sold. I didn’t feel a strong enough connection to the company, so I made the decision to step down and vowed to start my own business focused on my real interests: helping people build their brands, and, get this, tell their stories.
Now, I help people pitch themselves everyday. Storytelling comes easy when you know why you do what you do. Being able to communicate that “why” effectively is the reason I’ve worked with over 200 hundred people on their personal brands, been invited to podcasts and conferences, and have consistently been featured in the press and media.
I'm sold, utterly sold, on my business and the work I do as a Personal Brand Strategist.
Personal Branding Tip
Effective communication doesn't come out of thin air. It comes as a byproduct of knowing one’s story. Successful communicators know why they do what they do, and they provide their audience with that context.
As a result, we, as their audience, understand them on a deeper level and are more likely to root for them or purchase what they’re selling.
Most people think they know their story, fewer actually do. Simply thinking about it is not enough; you must write it down.
If you’re prepared to write and tell an effective story, ace your next pitch, or simply show up with more confidence on social media, sign up for my new course, “How to Tell Your Personal Brand Story.” This course will guide you in choosing your story, crafting it, and sharing it with confidence.
...to name a few.
At the top of each page, I jot down my purpose for creating content, what my desired outcomes are, and any ideas I have for future posts. This is helps me stay organized and ensures my message is cohesive and aligned.
Personal Question
What's your personal brand story? Why do you do what you do? If you met someone in an elevator today, could you confidently share it in a minute or less?
